The next generation of leaders doesn't have to be perfect! What is the difference between [instructing] and [scolding]?

Hello!
This is Inoue, a Persian cat from Beyond Shikoku Office.

The 3rd "SO Next Leader Development Training Session" was held on
October 23rd (Friday) This time's theme is "Teaching".
``Teaching'' is difficult, isn't it?
With just a slight difference in nuance, it can be interpreted as "scolding" or "blaming".
As a leader, it is absolutely necessary to "instruct" your subordinates.
I learned how "to pay attention" and "to instruct" are different.

What does it mean to teach?

Instruct = To guide someone in the right direction while paying attention to mistakes.
The important thing in "guiding" is whether you can "teach and guide in the right direction."
``Scold'' and ``blame'' contain feelings of anger.
The true source of anger lies in the idea that we should ``should''.
Anger occurs when one's internal beliefs about what one should do are betrayed.
If you try to pay attention to this feeling of anger, it will end up becoming something like "scolding" or "blaming".
It is said that the emotion of anger peaks in 6 seconds, so
when you feel angry because your idea of ​​what you should do has been betrayed, try taking 6 seconds to take a deep breath.
By doing so, you will be able to move away from temporary anger and be able to forgive even if your point of view is slightly different from the other person.
Then, you will be able to think about things calmly and choose your words, so you will be able to properly ``instruct'' them.
Anger management (controlling one's own anger) is important when teaching.
And, as I wrote in
my last blog ``Praise'' means ``I'm paying close attention to your work!'' ] The message will be.
Without that message, it will be difficult to build trust in hierarchical relationships.
The instructor must be able to give accurate instructions and guidance and be available for consultation at any time.
In order to be someone you can consult with at any time, you need to maintain good communication on a regular basis by ``praising'' them.

What is a leader?

■Be aware of this as a leader's mindset.

1. Show a positive attitude.
2. Don't create an atmosphere that makes it difficult to talk to you.
3. Don't force your way.
4. Don't be overwhelmed with just your own work.
5. I sincerely apologize for this mistake.
6. Say "I'm sorry" and "Thank you."
7. He doesn't show any self-preservation.
8. Don't be swayed by emotion.

■Things to keep in mind when teaching.

1. When teaching, teach now, not later.
2. Clarify the reason when giving instructions.
3. Know the location and give guidance.
4. Control your emotions firmly.
5. Don't just deny it.
6. Be tolerant of one failure.
7. Make them think of improvement measures.

It is important for leaders to support the feeling of taking on challenges, not just "should" but "want to".
"I want to" is more proactive and responsible than "I should".
a leader who can accept the feelings of subordinates who want to do something, and
a leader who can support their subordinates when they want to do something.

We don't need a perfect leader anymore

Do you know this book?
At the 3rd Next Leader Development Training Session, I listened to a lecture by Akira Nagao, the author of this book.
I had read ``We Don't Need a Perfect Leader Anymore'' in advance and was really looking forward to Mr. Nagao's lecture.
This is because recently we have added new members to our Shikoku office, and
I have become interested in a leadership position.
This book says that there are two types of leaders.
They are the wise man's style and the fool's style.
A sage-like leader is the image that comes to mind when I am asked, "What is a leader?"
He can do more work than anyone else, does more work than anyone else, and leads the team.

is a leader who
does not create a vertical hierarchy, There is a phrase like this in ``We don't need a perfect leader anymore.''

The wise man stands at the front and tries to lead the team, while the fool waits for his turn without standing above others.

I asked Mr. Nagao, ``What should I do while waiting for my turn?''
Then, he said, ``Waiting for your turn = making your own turn.''
He also said that what is important for leaders is to ``relax your shoulders and value humor.''
As I have read in other books, it is important to value humor in work and life.
``A person who relaxes their shoulders and values ​​humor'' is a person who can make others feel relaxed.
make people feel relaxed rather than intimidated by being someone they can talk to at any time
are wonderful leaders.

After attending the next leader development training session

First, I learned that in order to ``instruct'' someone, it is important not to include one's own personal feelings (anger).
I don't usually feel angry, but this varies from person to person.
However, if you wait six seconds after feeling angry, the peak of your anger will pass.
I think anyone can do something like taking six seconds when they feel angry,
so I would like everyone to do this as well.
However, please remember that it is important to ``praise'' before ``instructing.''
``Praise'' is a form of communication that helps build good human relationships.
"Thank you" is also an act of praise, so please say "thank you" as much as possible.
If you take it for granted and stop saying "thank you," there will be no opportunities to say "thank you."
also believe that teamwork means having a common goal and working toward that goal by leveraging each other's strengths and
overcoming obstacles.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot that it's okay because people are different.
Of course, we all have weaknesses, but we all have strengths and strengths that are many times more wonderful.
Weaknesses are also part of our individuality, so if you think about it that way, they are indispensable to the other person and to me.
I want the members of the Shikoku office to be as unique as the members of the Osaka office.
This is why I feel that we are a good team where each individual's individuality is respected and where we can realize what we want to do.

Growing every day, moving forward every day.
I have to update myself every day! ! !
Thank you for reading to the end.